Fatigue. Fatigue, fatigue, fatigue, fatigue. I really have difficulty trying to express what this is like. If anyone has had a car with a starter that failed, the feeling when you sit down, turn the ignition key and it just goes *click*, that’s kind of what it’s like. It’s not a dead battery exactly, everything is there and everything should work but somehow there is a connection missing that prevents anything from happening; “I think I’ll do some dishes.” *click* “Or maybe I’ll just sit on the couch”. “I have to go to work tonight.” *click* “Or I’ll go to bed”.
As I briefly mentioned, a couple days ago I decided to try kind of an experiment. I went to bed early and slept until I woke up. I stirred around for a little bit and then took a nap, and after I woke up I took another nap. Something happened that I can’t recall ever happening before; I slept until I genuinely could not sleep any more. Around 10 hours of sleep at night, two or three naps that lasted a couple hours each and I was wide awake. But I still felt exhausted and still didn’t have enough energy to do anything.
I suppose it would be like being on a strong muscle relaxer or a weak paralytic. Your brain is wide awake but you just can’t move your body.
I’m fully willing to accept that there may be a psychological component to this as well. This sucks. I’m not enjoying it. I can’t do everything I need to, let alone anything I want to, which is frustrating and upsetting which makes it even harder to try and muster the willpower to do anything.
Fortunately, as previously mentioned, I only have two more weekly treatments left (one after tomorrow!) but I have no idea how long it will take for my energy levels to get back to something closer to baseline. I suppose there is nothing for it but to wait and find out.