Oh look! This place is still here! I am not going to bother trying to summarize what went on over the last year beyond saying, things have continued to be a little closer to the “Dumpster Fire” end of the scale than I’m happy with.
I am, as we speak (read? type? communicate?), unemployed. I left my non-patient care job at Swedish and started an actual clinical education job at the University of Washington hospital. Unfortunately, the environment was still much too hospital-y for my anxiety and I was having almost daily panic attacks at work again. I’m not at all sure what this bodes for my future employment, but I’m still looking. I’m branching out to non-hospital jobs but the one offer I’ve had so far paid less than I was making 10 years ago. So no. I could write a great deal about the experience of applying, and being denied unemployment benefits, but that may be for another day.
The other big development over the last year has been an increasing difficulty being out and about in the world. It seems that people with PTSD and other panic disorders are prone to develop symptoms of agoraphobia. Who knew?
My symptoms aren’t so bad that I can’t leave the house, but they do kick in when I’m around crowds, especially if I have to stand in a line and wait. The checkout line at a busy grocery store is just about guaranteed to make me go sideways.
I’m not sure what this means for the future. I’m not sure if this is a permanent thing. I do know that it’s kind of a pain in the ass.
Plenty of space and wide open skies on the roads of Mexico, Man. Meet you there any time. :^)