Follow up

Yesterday was really rough. The bath felt amazing while I was actually in the water but as soon as I got out I felt worse than before. Chills (no fever though), headache, weakness, dizziness, nausea, and what I think could only be called a severe generalized malaise, in addition to the ongoing bladder spasms. After a few hours of wishing I would just hurry up and die already, I gave up and took every pill I could think of that could possibly even maybe help (for the record it was 1000 mg of Tylenol, 20 mg of Pepcid, 8 mg of Zofran, 200 mg of Pyridium, 120 mg of simethicone, 2 Tums, 3 mg of melatonin and 100 mg of sumatriptan). After that I finally felt better enough that I could eat something and go to sleep.

As an aside, I don’t recommend the “shotgun” approach to treating symptoms as outlined above. Not only does it lack any kind of style or elegance, if you throw the kitchen sink at your patient and they get better there’s no real way to figure out which of the 9000 things you did actually worked. That said, desperate times and all that.

Anyway, today is a little better so far. The Pyridium seems(?) to be helping(?) the bladder spasms and I’m back to baseline with maybe feeling a little wrung out from feeling so terrible yesterday.

hopefully this was a fluke and isn’t going to be typical of how I’m going to react to future BCG doses but, again, the only way to find out is to just keep going.

Treatment #4; Basement Demolition days 1 & 2

This is something of a theme already but I feel moved to observe once again that the fatigue is real. I had planned to post most of this yesterday but the act of sitting down in front of a computer and trying to come up with words was going to take more energy than I had left at the end of the day. I messaged my sleep medicine doc regarding this whole fatigue thing and he said there were some things we could try but first he wants to check me for narcolepsy.

Now I’m all in favor of due diligence but I’m pretty sure there is a better explanation for my excessive daytime sleepiness than narcolepsy.

Anyway, the treatment schedule, as I understand it, is for two more weekly doses of BCG and then take 4-ish weeks off, do another scope and see what happens. This is good news in that it means I only have two more doses before I get some time off which will allow, hopefully, my energy levels to recover a bit.

Simultaneous to all this has been the demolition of the basement. I had more to blather on about with this but I’m kind of running down again so I’ll pick this up later.

Treatment #2

The second treatment went very much the same as the first, minus the annoyance of driving and trying to park downtown since I was very kindly given a ride to and from so I wouldn’t have to deal with it.

I absolutely have been more fatigued than usual over the last few days but I’m still not sure how much is medication side-effects and how much is life side-effects. Treatment nurse said it was very likely both. It’s certainly not debilitating, but is is getting annoying. I have a couple days off with not much to do except homework so I’m going to try an experiment, FOR SCIENCE! My hypothesis is that if I spend the next two days being profoundly lazy, my energy level will improve.

I will post the results after a rigorous statistical analysis of the data.

Edited to add – Yeah, this is definitely more than my typical fatigue. I feel like I could go to bed now and sleep until Thursday.

Also, I’m starting to get some of those urinary tract infection-like symptoms. Sitting quietly wasting time playing video games and all of a sudden YOW! GOTTA PEE!

Fun stuff.

Treatment #1

It took considerably longer for me to drive up to Seattle, park, and get checked in than it did to get my first dose of BCG.

Before I had my cystoscopy, the part of this whole thing that I was most worried about was having a catheter placed. I’ve been a nurse for a while now and I would hesitate to even guess how many urinary catheters I’ve put in people. Many of them were sedated or otherwise unconscious at the time but of the people who were awake reactions ranged from saying that it was uncomfortable to screaming like they’d been hit with a branding iron. That wide a spread in peoples reactions had always prevented me from forming any firm opinion on how uncomfortable it may or may not be, objectively speaking (yes, I know – pain is subjective, pain is what the patient says it is, blah, blah, STFU & GBTW).

My experience was that with enough lidocaine gel it really wasn’t that bad. This was quite a relief since I will be getting an in-and-out catheter intermittently for the next few months.

So the treatment itself was quick and not terribly painful. The only difficulty is that I have to not pee for at least two hours after I get the dose of BCG. This is further complicated by the fact that I will need to provide a urine specimen before each treatment. This means I have to find the balance between being hydrated enough that I can give a specimen but not hydrated so much that I’m going to explode when I can’t go to the bathroom for two hours. Fortunately my years working in the ICU and frequently being too busy to take a bathroom break for 12 hours has prepared me for this.

As far as any side-effects, I am unquestionably feeling fatigued but I really think that is more related to going straight from working Saturday night to working on clearing out the basement on Sunday followed by not sleeping terribly well Sunday night. There have, so far, not been any other symptoms.

Interestingly, I got a list of instructions to follow when I do urinate for the first time after getting a dose of BCG. I was told to sit down rather than standing (to reduce splashing I assume) and that I should pour two cups of bleach in the toilet bowl and let it sit for at least 15 minutes before flushing. Obviously there is something with the BCG that they don’t want wandering around in the sewers but what that might be and how bleach stops it from happening is something I will maybe have to investigate more.

Yeah… so this is a thing that is happening

I can’t really imagine why anyone would care but the amount of effort it takes to create a record of what is going on with my cancer treatment is so minimal I figure why not?

This here is the full story which many people have not heard at all and includes details that I conspicuously left out when telling others.

DISCLAIMER: This post, and probably many of the others that follow, will involve graphic discussions of bodily functions that are usually not discussed openly. Also other, potentially gross, medical stuff. You have been warned, proceed at your own risk, etc.

Sometime back in late November or early December I had an episode of passing unusually dark urine. I didn’t really think much about it. I was at work and I was probably a bit dehydrated because all I had been drinking was a particularly strong batch of Market Spice tea. I started pushing fluids like actual water and it went away so I thought no more about it.

A few weeks later, it happened again. I was, once again, at work and had, once again, been drinking probably excessive amounts of very strong tea. My urine was dark but not definitively bloody so, again, I started pushing fluids and thought no more about it. But this time it didn’t go away as quickly. And it turned in to blood. There was, at first, some question; “Is that blood? That kinda looks like blood.” but soon all doubt was removed.

At this point I figured I should probably go see someone about this. The difficulty being that I had already decided I really needed to quit my job and get another which, of course, meant that I was going to have to change health insurance and get a new primary care provider. I didn’t really want to start any kind of process when in a few months I was going to have to start it all over again with a different group of health care providers. Also I still had suspicion that the problem might be related to reduced fluid intake and excessive amounts of acidic tea causing bladder irritation so I stopped drinking tea, continued to push fluids, and eventually it went away again.

Then it happened again, spontaneously (no tea involved) and this time with clots.

The medical term for blood in the urine is hematuria. If it isn’t associated with pain it is (as one might guess) painless hematuria. Hematuria associated with pain, either pain with urination, or flank or abdominal pain can have a number of different causes; trauma, urinary tract or kidney infections, kidney stones, and so on. The list of things that cause painless hematuria is pretty short and the list of things that cause painless hematuria with clots is even shorter. In fact really the only thing on the list is bladder cancer.

Bladder cancer is not terribly common. The number one risk factor for developing bladder cancer is smoking and number two is exposure to certain industrial chemicals. I don’t smoke, never have smoked, and don’t routinely work around any noticeable quantity of toxic chemicals so there was still some uncertainty in my mind in spite of the lack of any other obvious explanation for my symptoms. I wasn’t feeling systemically sick; no fevers or nausea. I knew my kidneys were working because I was making an adequate amount of urine, I wasn’t having any trouble passing urine, nothing. On top of that, I still hadn’t had my new insurance benefits kick in which meant there wasn’t a whole lot I could do about it. So I continued to wait.

By April I had insurance again, had managed to get an appointment with a primary care provider and the process of getting a diagnosis was underway. In May I had cystoscopy (examination of the bladder with a fiberoptic camera) which found a tumor and in June I had a TURBT (transurethral removal of bladder tumor).

There are, broadly, two kinds of bladder cancer. “Low grade” tumors, which are extremely unlikely to come back once removed, and “high grade” which are extremely likely to return. The urologist who did my TURBT was confident he had removed the entire tumor and that if the pathology report showed that it was low grade I was going to be pretty much done. Unfortunately it turned out t be a high grade tumor so further treatment was going to be required.

It took a couple of weeks to get an appointment with a different urologist that specialized in the treatment of bladder cancer and what he recommended was a course of Bacillus Calmette-Guerin, or BCG. BCG is an immune therapy that is instilled into the bladder where it provokes an immune response against cancerous cells. Literature shows that it is about 50% effective at preventing tumors from returning. The main side effects are symptoms similar to a urinary tract infection (frequency, urgency and burning with urination) and fatigue which can be cumulative over the course of treatment.

I had my first treatment today.

The process itself is not something I would do just for fun, but it is also not the most unpleasant thing that has ever happened to me. I’ll be getting weekly treatments for two months and then be reassessed with another cystoscopy to see how frequently and for how much longer additional treatments will be needed.

I’m hoping the side effects are going to be minimal but the only way to find out is to get the treatments and see what happens. This is going to be the place where I’ll be tracking treatments, side effects and generally opining about the fundamental shittiness of the whole situation. Follow along with me, or don’t if you have something better to do with your time.