(Please note: this post has nothing to do with either the seminal 80’s punk/reggae band or the song by The Ramones from their 1978 album Road to Ruin. If that’s what you’re looking for you can stop here)
Anyone with an internal monologue1 will likely be familiar with this phenomenon. My brain will occasionally go into this mode where everything is broken and nothing can ever be fixed. It exists, in my case, solely to shit all over anything and everything I do. Progress is meaningless because you’re never going to finish, no matter how much you do it isn’t enough because you didn’t do everything, that sort of thing.
Bad brain has been rampant recently and I don’t have much explanation for why. If nothing else, November/December marks the beginning of the third year of me hiding inside playing video games, with no end in sight. That by itself may be enough but who knows? That’s the real frustration for me. There is no way to figure out what is going wrong or why with any certainty. I can construct a coherent narrative to explain my symptoms, but is it correct? no way to tell!
Brains are a waste of time.
- Something like 5-10 percent of the population have no internal monologue whatsoever, which blows my mind. How does that even work? ↩︎
Can’t even conceive of life without an inner monologue.
To some degree that sounds like a relief considering how overwhelming my inner monologue can be at times, but I can’t imagine a version of myself that would be in any way ‘me’ without an inner monologue.
Thinking of which – inner monologue led to far too much blathering at you to post here, so watch for a ridiculously big ol’ text from me.
LOVE YOU!
the inner monologue is there. i’m trying to learn when to listen and when to tell it to shut up