Among the happenings over the last year was being denied social security disability benefits. In spite of opinions to the contrary provided by my actual care providers, SSDI felt there was no reason I couldn’t “adapt to other work”. The nature of the “other work” was not specified.
I had tried, over the preceding 16 months or so, to not count on getting disability benefits. I knew it was a long shot, at least the first time around, but I also didn’t have a long-term Plan B. This has not contributed anything to my peace of mind.
The Plan B I was pretending I had, and which I don’t think was really fooling anyone, involved me sucking it up and going back to work. What with my preexisting doubt there is anything really wrong with me in the first place (well documented in previous posts) and social security insisting I could adjust to other work, I tried hard to resign myself to the idea of returning to hospital nursing. Several incidents of greater or lesser significance over the last few months have persuaded me this isn’t realistic, in spite of any protestations I might make to the contrary.
As one might infer from the numbers in the previous post, I remain symptomatic. I still don’t know what to do with myself when panic-brain takes over, which happens much too frequently in spite of everything. Dr. Psychiatrist is still experimenting, trying to find some combination of meds to make me a bit more functional. which is a process I am trying to not get discouraged about as well.
Am I better than I was this time last year? Probably? But certainly not better enough.
You’re better. That’s a start.
That’s an interesting facet of this I hadn’t really considered; there really isn’t a whole lot of room for nuance in Social Security’s response, is there?
I’m sure that there are at least a few “other work”s you could adapt to without necessarily getting better as a prerequisite, but a) how many of them are sufficient to provide an actual living and/or b) how many of them are realistically obtainable at this time? I mean, you could probably cope with being a top-flight day-trader or internationally-viral superstar TikTok influencer, but are those feasible career paths for you at this time? Conversely, you might be okay scouring dumpsters for recyclables, but is that likely to pay the mortgage?
I withdraw my previous assertion that getting Disability seems to be like joining the Jewish religion; it actually appears to be a lot harder.
How about your attorney? Any news regarding their efforts on your behalf?