One of the larger tasks I have had to work on during this whole mental health process is sleep. My sleep patterns have always been odd, at least that’s what I’ve always told myself. When I was younger I would tend to wake up in the middle of the night and have difficulty going back to sleep. Then I spent the better part of 25 years working night shift. Mostly 12 hour shifts but there was a good bit of that time spent working 24 hour shifts on an ambulance. This meant, of course, that any time, day or night, the pager could go off and I’d have to wake up and at least be able to pretend to be functional. I got used to it pretty quickly. I was even pretty good at it. I wouldn’t even take off my uniform, I’d get back to quarters, kick my boots off and fall asleep in the recliner. As soon as I stopped moving I would fall asleep and as soon as the pager went off I’d be awake.
The unfortunate thing is, apparently brains and sleep patterns aren’t really supposed to function like that. I’ve tried various pharmacological and non-pharmacological techniques to help regulate my sleep but what finally seems to have worked is Lunesta (eszopiclone). I’s the only thing I’ve found that will put me to sleep and not make me a total zombie the next morning. The difficulty is, it turns out I’m kind of a zombie in the morning anyway. I have probably slept more in the past year than I did for any two years I was working put together, I slept for eight hours right before I sat down to write this very post, and yet I still take literally hours to feel like my brain is fully on-line in the morning.
I have been assured, and also noted myself, that this is something of a family trait, and I come by it honestly but it’s still troublesome. I’m sure this arrangement is much healthier for my brain-meats but I do miss being able to get out of bed and start the day instead of spending two or three hours bumping into walls.
um, yeah — Let’s see: ancestors that are in the haze after getting outta bed
father
paternal grandmother
paternal great-grandfather
A young friend (R.P.) — was concerned that her older daughter “woke up tired” (translation: didn’t pop out of bed like she does) — I assured her that as far as I could remember I “woke up tired” every day of my life — hasn’t changed either as of this morning.
Living as I have with a Hammond for more than thirty years, I can attest that yes, it’s a family trait. I can also suggest that the best way to cope with it seems to be a “fake it ’till you make it” strategy. Eventually your body will get the idea and fall in line, to one degree or another. Best you can do, I think.
Enh, you get used to it. I tend to try and make all of my decisions for the morning the night before so I don’t have to decide things first thing in the morning. That does mean that if I have to face major decisions, or do something abruptly that I wouldn’t necessarily otherwise do, my brain does kick in.